Look at my life, my desires were just and noble. My forward motion leads me further from that goal, and I can never return to you what I have stolen. There once was a time when we missed each other by nothing more then moments. My careless actions resulted in the distruction of more then a home, oh yes I ruined such a wonderful chance at a life indeed. There wasnt time enough to think, actions speak louder then words. My actions tore down more then the walls around us, but stole the very essence of my noble cause. In the wake of the Salvation I sought to bring was the crushing weight of misguided youth. Though youth alone was not the cause, the cause was my unyielding desire for peace. And in the name of peace I have crushed the very foundation of my purpose. Thus all things that follow become nothing more then senseless endurance of my sin. The reward for the salvation I brought walks hand-in-hand with the punishment for erasing the world as we knew it. The later in my wreckless weak will, I sought after my own desires. And why not I ask, after all I gave to be denied that which matters most. The hand of those above us was swift to cleanse my actions before the world was yet again to be undone. Thus the world moved on for everyone else, yet my world had yet again been crushed and broken. My spirit was vengeful and forged my will to iron for a time. The horrible acts I committed in the name of peace and justice will forever haunt my memories for years to come. And what have I learned from my ignorant actions I am asked? That is the true question and the most frightening of all, because you see I fear that I have learned nothing. Again and again I replay those fate filled moments in which I choose to save the world over you. For this I can remain silent and be consumed by guilt and shame. But if ever asked if I would do it again, my answer remains the same. Again and again for all eternity if I could, and with a new tear reserved for you each time. Thus is my path to nobility, funny how the noble path I walk is clouded with the dark deeds of my past. Almost as if my sins of the past, and sins of the future swallow me in a horrible void of nothingness. You are my sword, with your might my right hand will strike down all those who wish to sin. The light you bear is my shield, and it will cover my left arm and keep me safe. I remain as the core, the one and only who must be sacrificed to save the world. In the name of all that is pure and just I raise my sword to strike down the wicked, but know this: I willing give myself to such wickedness so you and others like you will remain pure. That is my duty, and all I have. I give it to you, use me as you will and rest easy in the world we forge together.

-Kai Lynn Bal-

**This is my first entry, and is meant to set a bases into that which I do not speak of. The dreams and musings of a soul born to the wrong era, please keep in mind these are feelings that I alone hold the rights to. Anything taken from journal, aside from enlightenment, is strictly forbidden and will have karmic repercussion's of the grandest scale.**